Stop living in misery.
Stop doubting yourself because they’re unsure of their feelings – you’re worth so much more.
Do not settle for half-assed efforts, being spoken down to or told you’re being stupid, being second best or an afterthought.
That little gut feeling you have? Go with it.
Your gut never lies.
It will almost always rarely go away, either and it will escalate.
If they hurt you (emotionally or physically), leave – don’t wait around for it to get worse, because it does.
Speaking from experience, I can promise you that.
I’ve been in two toxic relationships; one was emotional/psychological/narcissistic abuse and the last was emotional/psychological/financial/physical/narcissistic abuse and let me tell you, I wish I’d have got out sooner.
It took me three attempts to leave after I was badly beaten up but he’d hurt me before and I’d excused it – I stupidly thought that because I hadn’t been punched in the face, it was okay.
IT IS NEVER OKAY TO LAY YOUR HANDS ON YOUR PARTNER.
Being shoved, having hair pulled, squared up to and thrown to the floor is physical abuse, you don’t need a black eye, bruises or broken bones to warrant that.
Absurd accusations, paranoia, barking orders etc is not okay either – anything that makes you feel bad about yourself is abuse.
Sugarcoating it isn’t my thing, so I’ll be honest and say that it hurts to leave before you stop loving someone, it really does, but I’ll tell you something… the almighty wave of strength that comes over you is phenomenal.
The freedom and relief is beyond compare and the pain does wear off after a couple of weeks.
I 100% still loved him when I left, but I felt a whole tsunami of freedom come over me once I took my life back – I can see my friends, I can go places and go back to work, I have nobody to answer to and I can finally wear makeup again without being branded a slag and accused of cheating.
Don’t let worrying about them being with someone else hold you back, pity them. Know that you’re lucky enough to not be there anymore and move on with your head high – they hate to see you happy.
I knew I had to be my own hero, so I broke my own heart and I saved myself.
The Unicorn in Black