Don’t Promise Someone You’ll Be There For Them And Then Leave

“I’ll be there when times get rough, I promise”

I’m going to get straight to it, okay. If you tell someone you’ll be there for them when they’re in crisis, fucking be there.

It’s not because we need you, it’s because you’ve given us some hope that it will be okay and that we inevitably don’t have to do this alone.

I have episodes every now and again and I need reassurance – all it takes is to be told that everything will be okay and you’re not going anywhere or leaving.

And mean it.

Do you realise how much relief this can bring someone who’s in a time of distress? I can honestly say that 70% of my worry goes away if I know I have someone supporting me through that moment in time.

Being left stranded by the person who said they won’t leave when, ultimately, that’s your biggest fear is absolutely debilitating. It’s fucking unfair, actually.

Absolutely no fucking need for it.

Sometimes I want to be left alone but I don’t want to be left. Just stay somewhere in the background until I’ve finished hiding, please – be there for when I’m ready to swim to the surface.

If you truly want to help someone, please learn about their mental illness and their triggers because it will help the both of you, immensely – certain situations can and will be avoided if you know what causes them in the first place.

Research the internet, join Facebook groups, speak to their friends, family, partners and so on… learn their triggers, don’t be one.

I understand it’s not easy sometimes, but I can promise you that the friend/relative/partner you’re sticking by, isn’t enjoying this much either and they will bo doubt feel like a big enough burden already.

Please, just love them.

The Unicorn in Black

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