I Gave Up Being A Mother To Indulge Myself

I’m about to hit a “perfect parent”‘s nerve here, but to be quite frank, I’m way past the point of caring.

I do not give a fuck. No fucks given whatsoever.

If you’re a mum, you’re probably on a mum’s advice page on Facebook, right?

I am, too.

I asked a fair question and I was practically mauled by a pack of dogs for it.

I bet you’re dying to know what it was that I asked, so here it is…

“My ex-partner has a full time job, he earns £30k plus, he has plenty of disposable income and pays nothing for our child. Am I wrong in stopping contact?”

Apparently, I was; I was a bitch apparently and God only knows what else.

So, after a lot of thinking, do you know what I did?

I decided I couldn’t be bothered to be a mother anymore; yeah, I put myself before my kids.

What do they matter anyway? They’re just an inconvenience.

So, I woke up this morning as usual; I’d usually give my children some breakfast and some juice before school, but today I decided to give it a miss – I scoffed mine down, though.

I didn’t bother buying toothpaste when I went shopping either, so they’ll have to skip brushing their teeth aswell – I bought myself some, though.

So, then, I made sure the kids were dressed in filthy clothes, ready for school – mine were clean, though.

It was raining today, but I sent my eldest to school on his own, with no coat. He’ll have to stay indoors and play on his own – coats aren’t cheap, especially mine.

I went to work as soon as he left. I left my youngest at home, though – I’m not wasting £50 a day on childcare.

Who has that kind of money to spend?!

I then had a call from the school to ask why my eldest child wasn’t attending his educational school trip – truth is, I spent his trip money on cigarettes.

I got home from work and they were both sat in the cold and dark – I spent the electricity and gas money on a night out.

They started to complain they were hungry again – tough, I’m getting a takeaway when they go to bed.

They can skip having a bath and go straight to bed, they can surivive without a wash.

It’s Saturday tomorrow, the kids are off and I think we’ll just stay in because I’m skint – I went a bit mad on buying myself new clothes last week.

Actually, I’ve got a bit of cash spare, I’ll fuck off out for the weekend instead and won’t bother making the effort.

Of course, I would never do this to my children.

Who in their right fucking mind would do this to their child? 

A man would, that’s who (and apparently some women do aswell).

If a woman behaved this way, she would have her children taken away and placed in to care – no questions asked.

So, tell me this – why is it okay for a man not to provide for his children and still think he’s entitled to a relationship with his child?

There are exceptions, of course – there always are. But, if you work and have money to spend on yourself, you can spend it on your child.

No fucking excuses.

Stop defending a man for being a man, it’s WRONG.


4 thoughts on “I Gave Up Being A Mother To Indulge Myself

  1. Persis says:

    So brilliantly put!
    Men can choose to ditch the child and do what they like and then turn up when they feel like it play the hero and disappear again.

    This is bad enough even if pay maintenance. That does not make them a parent. But to refuse to contribute to your child’s upbringing and still think you can rock up play the hero and disappear again is ridiculous.

    The sad part is from a legal point of view it’s all about the father rights currently. Even if the father is abusive, he still has all the rights to access the child or even have 50/50 custody.
    No wonder the children in the U.K. Are suffering with all the mental health issues they do.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Luthien says:

    Wow… That blew me away… I’m in a similar situation but I do let my sons Dad see him… Purely for my sons benefit… But when you put it like that… Wow… That throws a totally different perspective on it… Well done and Thank you.


  3. Joanne says:

    But what do we do about it, the system is so fundamentally flawed, it’s well documented how much it costs to raise children, that cost remains the same regardless of one parents contribution, therefore the other has to pick up the slack. The self employment loop hole, or deadbeat, “not going to work if I have to pay him/ her” loop hole is outrageous and shows a system that enables non resident parents to avoide their responsibilities to their children and financially abuse their ex’s. The system is wrong! I have an idea….., The cost of raising a child should be split in half and if the non resident parent can’t afford their half the government should loan it to the non contributing parent (paid directly to the resident parent) and this should create a debt, similar to a student loan debt (after all we expect people to pay to improve themselves) maybe as a society need to look at how we organise this. It’s fundamentally wrong that as a society we ‘means test’ child maintenance – might as Lidl to means test me at the checkout next time I amin buying food for my children!


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